I finished the second video on negative emotions and took lots of notes as I listened. As I listened and wrote notes I just felt heavier and sicker because I became more aware of HOW many negative emotions I am holding onto and have held onto for who knows how long? Maybe most of my life to some extent. I wrote down ALL the most current negative emotions I am feeling on the negative emotions log and I stopped where it says “How I processed it”. I am feeling heavy fear,shame, worry, regret, pride, pain, and apathy. I’m trying to exercise my trust in God that I can let this go... it just feels impossible like moving a mountain ... a mountain of negative emotions. I know the scriptures teach that we can have faith to move mountains. I do have faith but I feel it is so small and insurmountable to the negative emotions, doubts and fears I have. I am so used to feeling these negative emotions, it sounds silly but I’m scared I won’t be able to consistently live in positive emotions. It seems painful to live happy like it will take more effort that I have and can bare. I feel so overwhelmed, tired and heavy. I’m feeling stuck and unsure how to even start processing all of these emotions?