I finished the second video on negative emotions and took lots of notes as I listened. As I listened and wrote notes I just felt heavier and sicker because I became more aware of HOW many negative emotions I am holding onto and have held onto for who knows how long? Maybe most of my life to some extent. I wrote down ALL the most current negative emotions I am feeling on the negative emotions log and I stopped where it says “How I processed it”. I am feeling heavy fear,shame, worry, regret, pride, pain, and apathy. I’m trying to exercise my trust in God that I can let this go... it just feels impossible like moving a mountain ... a mountain of negative emotions. I know the scriptures teach that we can have faith to move mountains. I do have faith but I feel it is so small and insurmountable to the negative emotions, doubts and fears I have. I am so used to feeling these negative emotions, it sounds silly but I’m scared I won’t be able to consistently live in positive emotions. It seems painful to live happy like it will take more effort that I have and can bare. I feel so overwhelmed, tired and heavy. I’m feeling stuck and unsure how to even start processing all of these emotions?
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I’m struggling to process my heavy thick negative emotions, where to start?
I’m struggling to process my heavy thick negative emotions, where to start?
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Great question Auna!! It can feel overwhelming at the beginning but my hope is that when you become aware of the amount of negative emotion we feel, and the amount we keep, it will motivate us to change. I can’t remember the name of the Japanese lady that teaches you how to clean your house. It’s the new trend in cleaning and organizing. But she has you gather everything in groups first. You put all of your clothes from every closet and drawer in a pile and when you realize how many clothes you have it is easier to let go of some. Then you collect every book in your house and when you see how many books you have it motivates you to get rid of some. I’m hoping this will be the same process for you. Not to overwhelm you! But to raise awareness to how many negative emotions we feel and keep in a day. Start by picking one emotion and focus on that. Why am I holding sadness? Why am I keeping this anger? Why am I holding onto this fear? Allow yourself to process through why you feel you need that emotion and give yourself permission to feel it and let it go. I know it seems tedious but it will become easier over time. I know it can be scary also to let go of these emotions we’ve been holding onto for so long. We wonder what life would even be like if we felt positive? You can take this as slow as you want. It takes time to re-train our brain. Our brain is comfortable in the darkness because that is familiar and safe. Shifting into higher vibration and light will feel uncomfortable at first and that you are out of place but keep telling your brain you are safe you are safe I am safe. You can make the transition as slow and gradual as you need to to feel safe in the process.